What Does a Wedding Celebrant Actually Do?
What does a wedding celebrant actually do? Here's how I write every ceremony from scratch around your story, so yours never feels the same as everyone else's or templated.
WEDDINGS
If you've started looking into wedding celebrants, you've probably noticed we all say lovely things about ourselves. Warm, fun, relaxed, creative. All great, but none of it really tells you what a celebrant actually does, or what it would feel like to have one standing beside you as you say "I do."
So I thought I'd show you. This is what a wedding celebrant does, the way I do it, from our very first chat to the moment you walk back down the aisle together. And if you're planning a wedding anywhere in North Yorkshire, Teesside or the North East, it's also a little peek at who I am and why I do things the way I do.
So, What Does a Wedding Celebrant Actually Do?
In the simplest terms, I write your wedding ceremony and I lead it. That's the part of the day where you actually stand up in front of everyone you love and make your promises. But that's a bit like saying a florist "sells flowers." The real job is everything that happens before you ever get to that moment. The getting to know you, listening to your story, shaping it into a ceremony that sounds like you, and standing up on the day to deliver it with warmth and confidence.
A celebrant's job is to tell your story, and to make the ceremony the most memorable part of your day rather than the bit everyone sits through before the party. A celebrant-led ceremony isn't tied to set wording, set timings or a set room, so it can happen in a field, a barn, a back garden or your favourite venue. The legal paperwork is handled separately, and my blog "Celebrant vs Registrar" explains exactly how that works.
I'll be honest, this is personal for me. When I married for the second time, it was with a registrar, and I met the person marrying us for the first time on the day of our wedding. It felt so odd that a complete stranger was leading one of the most meaningful moments of my life. That's what led me to discover celebrants, and I knew straight away it was the job for me.
It Starts With Genuine Curiosity
Before I write a single word, I want to know who you are. Not just how you met, but what makes you laugh, what you love about each other, and what home feels like when it's just the two of you. I do this through relaxed chats and in-depth questionnaires, and I'll admit, reading those questionnaires is one of my favourite parts of the whole job. All that lovely detail about your relationship, the stuff nobody else gets to read. It feels like a real privilege.
What I'm listening for are the little details that turn out to be the significant ones. The nickname nobody else is allowed to use. The song you both murder in the car. The thing one of you always does that the other secretly adores. On their own they seem small, but woven into a ceremony, they're the moments that make your guests catch their breath, or burst out laughing.
I also want you to feel completely at ease with me long before the day itself. By the time you're standing in front of me, I'd love it to feel less like a stranger leading your ceremony and more like a friend who really gets the two of you.
Every Ceremony Is Written From Scratch
This is the bit I feel most strongly about. None of my ceremonies are built from a template. You won't get a standard script with your names dropped in and a couple of details swapped around. Your story isn't the same as everyone else's, so why should your ceremony be? Whether I'm writing and leading your ceremony, or writing a script for someone you love to deliver, it's built from the ground up around you, your relationship, and what matters most to you both.
That also means you have real freedom over what goes in it. Want your dog to bring the rings? A handfasting? A singalong? Your own vows? (I can help you write those too, my blog "Tips for Writing Your Own Vows" is a good place to start.) I did things my own way at my wedding, so I'm not about to tell you that you can't do things how you want to at yours. There are no rules, only choices. It's also why I only book one wedding a day. Writing from scratch takes time and care, and you deserve every bit of my attention, not a share of it.
What your ceremony will feel like with me at the helm
If you've seen a single photo of me, you've probably guessed I love colour. My house is full of it, my wardrobe is full of it, and you'll never find black, grey or beige anywhere near me. I'm a sewer, quilter, upcycler and doodler, and I'll have a go at pretty much any craft going. So no, I won't turn up to your ceremony in a sensible suit. I'm far more likely to be in a bright, colourful dress and my trainers, because that's who I am, and I'd much rather you meet the real me.
That same joy and creativity runs through every ceremony I write. It's in the unexpected touches, the way a story is told, the moment that makes the whole room smile. I use my creativity to bring your relationship to life in your ceremony. When it comes to the day itself, because I've spent over 30 years standing up in front of audiences, singing with choirs and a vintage harmony trio, treading the boards in amateur dramatics, and leading church services, I’ll deliver your ceremony with confidence and real emotion. If the wind picks up or the ring bearer wanders off, I'll keep everything flowing, and you can simply be present with each other.
"But What If We're Not Loud, Colourful People?"
Good question! If your celebrant turns up in a rainbow dress, does your ceremony have to be bold and quirky too? Not at all. You don't need to be quirky to have a ceremony that's unmistakably yours. If you're happiest on the sofa with a takeaway and the dog, your ceremony should feel warm, cosy and quietly joyful. If you're both a bit shy, it should feel gentle and intimate, not like a performance. My job is to reflect who you are, not turn you into someone you're not.
What I will do is gently encourage you to keep in the bits that make you, you. For years I felt like I never quite fitted in, and I spent far too long trying to blend in. Now I lean fully into who I am, and life is so much better for it. I want that same permission for every couple I work with. Because in my experience, the parts you're tempted to tone down are usually the parts worth keeping in.
What I Want You to Remember, Years From Now
When you look back on your wedding in ten, twenty or forty years, I want you to remember more than the dress, flowers and cake. I want you to remember the feeling of promising yourselves to each other in a way that was completely true to you and your relationship. That's the whole point of what I do. In a recent review, Jordan described my ceremony as "one of the most heartfelt, funny, sincere ceremonies I've ever had the privilege to be a part of," and honestly, that's exactly what I'm aiming for every single time.
If you're planning a wedding in North Yorkshire, Teesside or the North East, and you'd love a ceremony that could never belong to anyone else, I'd love to hear about you. No obligation, no hard sell, just a cuppa and a chat about what your ceremony could look like.
Get in Touch
If this sounds like the sort of ceremony you want for your celebration then I'd love to have a chat. You can book a no-obligation call with me here.
Check out my other blog posts here.
